I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
