trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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