dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
