Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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