oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
