OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Randomize