and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Don't tell me you're on acid again
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
