Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She swung at the pinata with crutches
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
