We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
