Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
