The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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