I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think a kid would responsible me up
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
