Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
