I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
