She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
