He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize