____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you traded sex for a burrito?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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