he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize