but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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