Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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