It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am puke
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
