hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
