And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
