I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize