the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
