I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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