is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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