I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize