Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
