you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
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It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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