i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The ass gains better be worth it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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