No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
