in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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