As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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