I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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