you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
