who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dual....:-)
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
