I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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