What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
