woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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