Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
