mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he high fived his dick after we had sex
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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