ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just found puke in my bra..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
