And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm at about main and main street
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
