right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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