lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
