Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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