Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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