3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
