i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize