she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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