This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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