8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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