We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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