all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
