found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
