i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Randomize
