That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
