i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
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You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
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I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.