Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm at derby!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.

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  (847): I'm at derby! (847): The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time. http://tfl.nu/hrlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1301) Bad night (403)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

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  (239): Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed? http://tfl.nu/9or7
  Replies (7) Good night (630) Bad night (2204) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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  (224): U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/6777
  Replies (57) Good night (719) Bad night (3769) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...

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  (217): her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name... http://tfl.nu/e8r1
  Replies (18) Good night (851) Bad night (4444) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...

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  (317): you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party... http://tfl.nu/sqle
  Replies (22) Good night (8005) Bad night (1326) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden

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  (770): How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden http://tfl.nu/1f55
  Replies (10) Good night (3753) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.

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  (732): thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air. http://tfl.nu/4jlr
  Replies (3) Good night (1658) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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  (603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (1350)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text

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  (303): Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text http://tfl.nu/3l29
  Replies (9) Good night (440) Bad night (1434) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.

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  (904): She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes. http://tfl.nu/nuhm
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know how to give stiches?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I do not...this text concerns me

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  (612): Do you know how to give stiches? (1-612): I do not...this text concerns me http://tfl.nu/8jm1
  Replies (5) Good night (1525) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.

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  (805): My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit. http://tfl.nu/alyo
  Replies (9) Good night (1697) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.

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  (405): yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt. http://tfl.nu/yslp
  Replies (6) Good night (1040) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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  (859): it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone? http://tfl.nu/jw1z
  Replies (7) Good night (679) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?

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  (613): I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/khmv
  Replies (5) Good night (545) Bad night (407)

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