I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...