you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Your penis caused this!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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