Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat