You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
