I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
