I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize