Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
