You really coming over, don't trick.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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