she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
