Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
