the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
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She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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